One moment a word I say might come out fine, another, it may come out distorted; that’s life with Verbal Apraxia.
The misconceptions about the inconsistency.
In my life, I’ve found that the inconsistency of my speech is what confuses people. People are curious about why this happens. Even if I, myself, can’t explain it. I’ve had people in my life say, “You just said that perfectly to me a minute ago, you can’t say it right now?” Acting like I don’t want to say what I want. It’s frustrating not only the inconsistencies with speech but also how people interpret these inconsistencies. Like:
“Oh, you’re just being lazy.”
“He’s not wanting to speak.”
That’s just the nature of Apraxia.
When none of these are correct, it’s just the inconsistent nature of Apraxia. It isn’t something I can control. I’ve attempted to in the past, but I’ve let that go. I remind myself about how this affects me & how to think in these situations. In the past, as a child, I use to get upset over it. However, I’ve essentially rewired my thoughts, and I recognize this is my speech. I’ll try again; use one of my speech strategies. I just don’t beat myself up for it anymore.
The misconceptions can do harm.
I’m not sure if people fully recognize how misconceptions can harm a child with an Apraxia diagnosis. When you are told that you are lazy, and not wanting to speak, whenever you have the desire to but physically can’t, is damaging to a child’s psychological well being. The truth of the matter is, these people are not behind the child’s brain; only the child and other people can say how Apraxia feels and how it affects them. However, we’ve had low self-reports from actual people with Verbal Apraxia.
It’s time we hear their voices.