Dear Diary,
As a teenager, I wanted most to clean my past that anything that marked my speech disorder. I lived most of my life in denial, but when others brought it up, I was reminded it’s not something I can escape from.
I was in the car with friends at the time, driving around when we approached a drive-thru. They would fight over who was going to order next when I would say, “I’ll order.” They looked at each other, exchanged looks, and looked at me, and said, “Yeah, I don’t know if they’ll understand you, we will order. We can’t understand a thing you say.”
I didn’t know how to respond at this age, so I wouldn’t. I would act like the remark had run off me when it triggered some feelings and things that happened in my past. I was questioning why people who claim they care about me go after to hurt me would? It wasn’t like this comment was a call for genuine concern; it was clear the intentions were different.
From me trying to forget about Apraxia for all of my teenage years, it was clear that this wasn’t just a childhood disorder, and other people could tell I had a speech difference; however, I didn’t say anything. From this moment on, I would start my journey of understanding my speech disorder’s complexity and self-acceptance even if others weren’t 100% supportive.
From,
Jordan Christian