When we currently hear about apraxia, we tend to think about speech errors automatically. For example, a child having trouble articulating a word correctly. We think so much about the person’s speech that I fear that we forget about the emotional aspect of a lack of speech.
It’s no story that not being able to produce words is hard on a person. It’s not a story that through the person’s genetics and life experiences, there can be heavy emotions that come with apraxia.
Some may feel sadness whenever they aren’t able to talk to their mom. Some may feel anxious if a person is pressuring them to produce speech on demand. Some may not know what to feel because their mind is everywhere, and no matter what they feel, that emotion is valid.
It doesn’t have to be this way, however. Here are three ways that I find people with apraxia can learn how to cope properly emotionally:
1.) Developing healthy thoughts:
So, despite the misconceptions, children and adults with apraxia know fully what they want to say and are active thinkers. Therefore, we don’t know what they are thinking inside of their brain. We don’t know what their thoughts look like. Some children may tend to go towards negative thoughts like,
“I’m bad at speaking.”
“I can’t speak right.”
“I shouldn’t speak.”
We want to transition their thought pattern to a more healthy and helpful way. So, reinforcing your child to say and think positive things about themselves. Also, being nonjudgmental of their speech. So, for example,
“I had trouble articulating that word.”
“I can’t say that word yet, but I will be able too soon.”
“That’s silly, of course, I should try and speak. It’s going to get better.”
2.) Not apologizing for their speech disorder:
When we apologize for something, it means you are sorry you did something. If you apologize for your speech, you’re apologizing for speaking; this unintentionally gives our brain the signal that our speaking is something to be sorry about. However, nobody’s disability or speech is something to be sorry about. Instead of saying sorry, tell the person if you’re able too, “It might take me a moment to get my words out.” Or if you’re the parent, “Hey! My child has speech difficulties; it might take them a moment to speak.” This is not the same as explaining yourself or your child to somebody. In my opinion, this is a healthy alternative method that prevents the child from potentially saying “sorry.”
3.) Owning it:
When you come to a place of acceptance, whether it’s yourself or your child, it comes to owning what makes you yourself. Apraxia isn’t the whole picture; it doesn’t define who you are. However, it can if you let it. If you live your life in fear based on others finding out you have speech difficulties. I was once in this same boat, and when I accepted my speech disorder and owned it, is a moment when I felt like I could finally breathe. Some children may not want to own it in fear of being different, judged, or discriminated against. While some of these are valid concerns, we can’t live in fear based on how we produce speech. We have to own this part of ourselves so that we can live the rest of our lives.
Apraxia can be difficult, tricky, and even a beast of a speech disorder. However, you or your child need, or both, need to put up their weapons and fight. Apraxia doesn’t and won’t get the last laugh.