My voice isn’t going to be silenced, because it once was, but not any longer.

– Jordan Christian.

Childhood versus Adulthood.

My first act of being discriminated against would be at five years old. My school system wasn’t giving me my needs and treating me equally to other students; this was the time when the “No child gets left behind” law was in the act but didn’t work until somebody spoke up. That person for me was my mom.

My latest acts of discrimination would be at twenty-two years old. I have faced public services that would treat me differently, refuse to take my order, and even deny me job opportunities due to their preference of people with different speech patterns and variations from my own.

I would soon be told by a Zaxby’s cashier:

“If you talk right, I’ll take your order.” In that moment, I realized how the world actually worked around me. In that moment, I felt dehumanized. 

The difference is that at five years old, I didn’t know what discrimination was. I didn’t know what that word meant. I didn’t even know what was going on in particular, while my mom was battling the school system to get me speech therapy services & correct educational accommodations. There was this whole side of things that I didn’t see because my mom wanted to make sure I was safe. The difference is now; I’m self-aware. I know what it is, and I’ve seen it beforehand even as a child.

Facing discrimination with my diagnosis.

With my Verbal Apraxia diagnosis, my speech is a slower rate, and sometimes certain sounds can sound different than what they are originally. What I have come to found, particularly within the past year of my life in 2019, people are easily and quickly to judge of another’s speech. The assumptions come soon because people’s brains try to make sense of things they don’t understand.

I pushed myself in 2019 to not hold myself back from nothing due to my speech disorder. Even when people have told me I need to limit my options. I also got a job in customer service. Do you know how easily criticized you’ll be from others on how speak? Or how you’ll face criticism from people on your team because you don’t fit the criteria for being neurotypical.

After instances have happened, I’ve learned how to self advocate for myself, and most importantly, stand up for myself. Even though these situations are acts of oppression, for not fitting society’s norm, I grew from them, and they did give me thicker skin after all. That’s not saying it doesn’t suck, acts of oppression make you feel anxious and uncomfortable because they point out what others would consider your flaw. While my speech isn’t a flaw, it’s a part of me. It’s a diagnosis. It’s how my brain works. What is flawed is how our society categorized different types of human beings, from being most favorable to less favorable; this built to separate people and give others fewer opportunities than others.

The difference is as a child; I needed to be protected and needed the proper treatment. The difference as an adult is that I need to self-advocate and know my rights as a human being; because I’m not flawed. My speech isn’t a flaw. It’s my voice.

I tell about these instances, and other people can read them, and form their perspective on how things have gone on. However, the things that happen to me are real to me.

You don’t own me.

The acts of discrimination that I can’t count on one hand have made me want to challenge our system and break the barriers we’ve created those separate people. I became stronger because I didn’t run and hide- I have spoken up, even when it isn’t physically easy for me to because I’ve come to realize my worth as a human being. It’s made me get on camera and create resources for other people, in hopes of preventing this for them. So because of all of that and self-growth, it’s gave me; I’d like to say thank you. Because even though you thought you were tearing me down, you contributed to my growth. You made me see what I want to change about our society.

You don’t own me, and you’ll never own me. I’m not going to stay silent. Many people remain silent because they’re afraid of backlash, and of what people will say or think.

I’m not giving you that power. I’m taking the power back.

It’s my freedom.