“You don’t want to label them,” they said. But the adults around me labeled me inaccurately instead:
“Lazy.”
“Defiant.”
“Refusing.”
With each attempt to hold my pencil, these thoughts would run through my mind:
“Why is my hand cramping?”
“You just need to press down harder.”
“Why do I always start on a straight line, but the words end up in a curve?”
“You’re overthinking it.”
“Just try harder.”
And as I struggled, I judged myself, ignoring my needs in an attempt to mask what felt like constant failure.
At 26, while uncovering my ADHD diagnosis, I also discovered something else: dysgraphia.
Dysgraphia is a neurological condition that affects fine motor skills, making writing a complex and physically uncomfortable task. For people with dysgraphia, forming letters, writing in a straight line, and maintaining consistent pressure on the pencil are often challenging. The effort needed for what others see as simple tasks can be exhausting, and the resulting work may look careless or inconsistent— even though the person has tried with all their might.
In my case, dysgraphia explained so much. It wasn’t that I was “lazy” or “defiant”—it was that my brain and body simply didn’t align with the traditional expectations of writing.
Coming to terms with my dysgraphia has been a journey in self-acceptance. Recognizing that what I once saw as personal failings were actually the result of an undiagnosed condition helped me release years of judgment. Now, instead of pushing myself to fit a mold, I’m learning to honor my own needs. There’s power in naming things accurately—and sometimes, that label can set you free.
– Jordan LeVan
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