Dear Journal,
Recently I came to some sort of self-realization, some called an awakening on one of my livestreams, that every day is a different day for my speech. Apraxia is truly unpredictable, and maybe that’s where the anxiety correlates with it. But you never know how your speech is going to be the next day, and that can leave you unsettled or hopeful.
Some days aren’t so easy, and some days are. When I can speak on demand, this one week comes back in particular in December. I almost felt euphoric, like an over the top sensation. Talking was easy, and that was a feeling I wasn’t too familiar with.
There are times when talking isn’t easy, that I’m fighting for each word. For these days, I’ve learned to have grace; to hand myself an olive branch as a peace offering. Because I can never go back to war with myself and my speech. It’s something I have to work continuously with, not against.
I learn something new every day about myself and my speech. As I grow, I realize what areas of my life my speech can affect. And for those days, I like to share them with the world; in hopes, it helps the next person. All I want to do is genuinely help people. Because in a word with so much hate and non-acceptance, I want to set a good example. Accept yourself and others, we were all uniquely made.
Love,
Jordan Christian